Cat-Women of the Moon (1953) | ATTACK OF THE DRIVE-IN!

“You're too smart for me, baby. I like 'em stupid.”

RATING: 4 interstellar catgirls out of 5

There’s a truth universally acknowledged that a man in possession of a rocket ship, must be in want of a cat-woman.

Today we’re looking at a film that’s both been incredibly influential and is the kind of surreal absurdity you expect from drive-in movies. My loves in the cheap seats — I give you Cat-Women of the Moon. A movie that features a catgirl-fueled love triangle with an astronaut, a revolver in space, and putting out acid with a fire extinguisher. This is one hell of a space flight. 

One of the great, core human fears is being shoved into a tin can with the two other members of your love triangle. The year was 1953 — long before we’d actually been to the moon. In Cat-Women, humanity is taking its first rocket to the moon, and instead of cheese — we find catgirls. What a time to be alive. 

But before that — disaster strikes. A meteor strikes the ship and ruptures tanks of dangerous nitric acid stowed…in the crew quarters? I don’t know about you, but I love the security that falling asleep next to a tank of pressurized nitric acid provides. But thankfully, this ship of fools has a dummy light on the console to indicate “nitric acid leaking,” so clearly the ship was designed by General Motors. This set piece culminates with our heroes bravely putting out the acid with a CO2 fire extinguisher. In space. Fans of Interstellar and The Expanse…this might not be the movie for you. 

Thankfully, though — this is my kind of sci-fi. Heavy on the fi, not so much the sci. If I want a textbook, I’ll call up my old bio teacher. 

Anyway, our heroes make it to the moon. Ship’s navigator Helen leads our merry band of space miscreants to a mysterious cave on the moon — where they find gravity is working again. That’s the good news. The bad news is that this cave is full of —

No, go ahead and guess. I’ll wait. 

If you guessed “the cave is full of moon spiders,” your next round of popcorn is on me. 

Naturally, our heroes use a revolver to dispatch the creepy critters, only to find their space suits have vanished. Who stole them? 

No, not the moon spiders. The cat-women of the moon. Keep up. 

Our feline-adjacent newcomers attempt to overpower the men, but they fail — saying that, oh, they were only spooked by one of them brandishing a firearm. On the moon. Helen is taken aside by their leader (aptly, Alpha) where we find that the cat-women of the moon can mind control normal-women of the earth. The cat-women plan to steal the rocket and return to earth for their nefarious schemes of world domination. Possibly control of the nation’s catnip supply. 

Though let’s be honest, if cat-anything were in charge, and we had a flat earth, everything would be going right off the edge. 

Absurd on so many levels it makes the mind go boggly, but holds up well for the spacefaring drive-in goer. We laugh, we cry, we jump when moon spiders appear, and wonder if Einstein’s ideas were implanted into his brain by the cat-women from the moon. What’s not to like? 

Made of moon Velveeta though it is — it did very well in its day — and notably, was one of the first mainstream indie films to be released in 3-D. In fact, the 1991 VHS release from Rhino Home Video converted the film to anaglyph (red and blue) 3-D, and it came to your VCR with a pair of 3-D glasses. The cinematography from William P. Whitley is exceptionally well done for its day, and Arthur Hilton (no relation to Paris, but of The Return of Jesse James in 1950) directs the film particularly well. 

Incredibly influential, too. It took a theme started with the subgenre of “women-creatures living on a celestial body,” started with Abbott and Costello Go to Mars (if you missed that one — really recommend) and ran with it. It went on to have a remake in 1958 in Missile to the Moon, and inspired a ton of imitators in the Golden Age of the drive-in: from Fire Maidens from Outer Space (1956) to Voyage to the Planet of Prehistoric Women. 

While it doesn’t hold up to the more serious and beard-strokingly erudite sci-fi of the Kubrick and James Cameron set — absolutely worth a watch today, especially if you can score it in 3-D. 

Life Lessons From Cat-Women of the Moon

• The logical place to store canisters of acid in space are snuggled nice and cozy next to your bed. 

• Cigarettes burn out extra quickly on the moon. Bring an extra pack. 

• When the lost city of Atlantis sank beneath the waves, it ended up on the dark side of the moon. 

• Taking a ding to the head from a styrofoam rock is lethal. Moon spiders probably are, but only if you’re not strapped with a .38 in space. 

Want to check this one out yourself? You’re in luck! You can watch the whole thing on YouTube, courtesy of Drive-In Radio. Hit the button below to head over — we’ll meet you there.

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Want to have your own adventure to the dark side of the moon where (obviously) the Atlantis-refugee cat-women live? You can pick up a copy (in 3-D!) here.

If you buy after you click, I get a small commission at no extra cost to you — and you get to support your favorite pair of drive-in movie reviewers: A Boy & His Dog.